You know, I really don't consider what I do here to be that important. I mean, it's not like I'm saving lives or anything, but...
Cheese. That's all there is to say.
Besides, I do save lives in other areas of my life. Like when I ride shotty with Dad into town. See, there's this traffic light that flashes red half the time and is solid red the other half. Obviously this causes much confusion. Whenever he comes to the solid red, he stops, looks both ways and begins to pull out in slow motion.
"IT'S SOLID, POPS!" I always cry, just in the nick of time. The car jolts to a halt.
"That light is NOT blinking."
"Well," says he defensively, "I can make it blink with my eyes."
But I suppose pretzel bites can save a life in their own way too. Especially when they're stuffed with mozzarella cheese and pepperoni and dunked in warm pizza sauce.
Now, we've made regular Auntie Anne's pretzels and pretzel buns, but these guys are on a whole new level. To make them yourself, first make your dough. Divide it in half so it's easier to work with. Roll one lump into a big, fat rope and then flatten it. Sprinkle on your pepperoni and cheese.
Then pinch it shut really tightly. Try to seal the whole thing off the best you can.
Say hello to your big, long stegosaurus.
You can smash down his spines if you want.
Then dunk him in some baking soda and water.
I'm sorry that is so horrifyingly disgusting. It must be done.
Now, don't worry if little parts come open while you're dunking your stegosaurus sea monster. He will survive. Just don't leave him in there too long. We're not sticklers for perfection here. The perfection will come on it's own.
Now you just slice them up (not too thin or they'll fall over while they're baking)
Now they just need some coarse salt on top. Throw em in the oven and then dunk them in some melted butter right when they come out. And don't forget to repeat the process with the other half of the dough. You will cry if you find a lump dried up dough on your counter tomorrow.
And that's it. Don't forget to dunk them in some pizza sauce.
Pretzel Pizza Rolls
1 cups milk
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
3 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons butter, melted
2 1/4 cups flour (or more)
1/2 tablespoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoons fine salt
1 cup shredded mozzarella
1/2 cup chopped pepperoni
1/3 cup baking soda
3 cups warm water
Coarse salt (I used kosher, but the coarser the better)
5 tablespoons butter, melted
Pizza, sauce for dipping
Warm up the milk in the microwave or on the stove for just about one and a half minutes. It should be about 110º. If it's too hot it will kill the yeast. You should be able to comfortably keep your finger in it. Stir in the yeast and let it sit for about 3 minutes. Add the butter and sugar. Add the flour about 1/2 cup at a time and the add the fine salt, seasoning, and garlic powder. Add a little more flour if it's still too wet. Knead for about 10 minutes with a stand mixer, or by hand. Put it in a greased bowl and cover with a wet cloth. Let rise for 30-60 minutes in a moist, warm place until about doubled in size. Preheat the oven to 400º. In a large bowl (or 4 cup measuring cup) combine the warm water and baking soda. Punch down the dough and divide in half. Roll one half into a thick rope/log. Flatten and top with half of the cheese and pepperoni. Pinch together trying to seal the cheese and pepperoni in the best you can. Dunk the whole rope in the baking soda water for only a couple seconds. Remove from water and slice into bite sized pieces with a serrated knife. Place on a greased baking sheet and sprinkle with coarse salt. Bake for about 8 minutes or until browned. Dip each in the melted butter while hot. Serve with pizza sauce.
Based these on the usual Auntie Anne's Pretzel copycat which I got off of Food Networks website.
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