I know, it's hard to believe, but it's true. I mean, remember when she used to give you the prized soggy french fries at McDonald's? Well that was only because she actually wanted the crispy ones. And you know when she risked her life countless times to make sure your candy, cookie, or other such delicacy wasn't poison? Well she only wanted to try it for herself. And remember those times when you were doing something embarrassing or naughty in public and Mom would quietly inform you that "that man over there said you can't do that"? Well... HE WAS NEVER REAL. She just made him up to scare you.
BUT. These were just small incidents. When it comes to something truly important, mothers never lie. Like when she counsels you to make a bloomin' onion with "THAT SAUCE", you obey her, because when she tells you that your taste buds will sing for joy at the first taste, you know that she speaks the truth.
There's only one problem. I HATE deep-frying things. Oh no, it's not because it's totally unhealthy and fattening. I'm not such a snob as that. It's because of the mess and the trouble. I mean, just think of that big pot of splattering oil, just waiting for you to lean in close enough so it can fry your eyeballs out. Think of the fresh coating of grease it paints on every inch of your kitchen. Think of the fast food smell that haunts your home for days to come.
It's not worth it my friends. It's not worth it.
But even though we may have an aversion to this infamous American art form, we still can't resist that irresistible crunch. So what do we do? We bake!
To make your blooming onion, you will start with the obvious. An onion.
I was looking for a big sweet onion like a Vidalia, but I couldn't find one. This is a yellow onion and it worked fine.
First slice off the top. In case you are as easily disoriented as myself, this is the end opposite the roots.
Peel off all that skin and then flip him over. Carefully slice off some of those roots with a sharp knife.
That way your onion can stand up easier without rolling over which makes it easier to slice it into wedges.
Just make sure you don't slice all the way through. Then you'll just have a bunch of onion pieces instead of a big beautiful onion flower.
Now drench it in some eggs and stuff. Make sure you get in between all the petals.
Then it goes in a mixture of corn flake crumbs, Parmesan cheese, and seasonings. YUM.
After it gets a good coating, make sure you give it one more dunk in the eggs and then a final coat in the crumbs. That's TWO coats of crumbs people. Very important.
Now drizzle it in some oil or butter (or a combination). You don't want any dry, white crumbs showing, so if you didn't manage to get it all with the butter, give it a little spritz of cooking spray.
After it comes out of the oven, the rest is history.
Thank you, Mother. Thank you for your truthfulness.
Still... to get back at you for all of your conniving in the past, I'm taking all the crunchiest outer petals before you can get to them.
What do you think about that, Mr. That-man-over-there?
Baked Bloomin' Onion1 large onion (I wanted Vidalia, but yellow was the biggest one they had)
For the Egg Wash:
1/4 cup water
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder1 teaspoon yellow mustardFor the Crumbs:
3/4 cup cornflake crumbs1/4 cup parmesan cheese or corn starch1 teaspoon garlic powder1 teaspoon paprika1 teaspoon oreganoCayenne pepper, salt, and pepper to taste
A couple tablespoons of melted butter and/or oil
Remoulade sauce (my recipe here!)Preheat the oven to 425ºF.In one bowl, beat together the eggs, water, paprika, garlic powder, and mustard. In another bowl mix together the cornflakes, parmesan or corn starch, garlic powder, paprika, oregano, cayenne, salt, and pepper. Set aside.Cut about 1/2 inch off the top of the onion and peel the skin off. Cut the tip of the root off so the onion can stand on it. Cut the onion into about eight wedges being very careful not to cut all the way through (leave about 1/2 inch).Dip the onion in the egg mixture, spooning it between each "petal". Once it's completely coated toss it in the crumbs, once again spooning it between each petal. Repeat this process, coating the onion once more in the egg mixture and then a final time again in the crumbs (use every bit of the crumbs you can).Place on a well greased baking sheet. Drizzle with melted butter and/or oil. Then you can give it a final spritz of cooking spray (PAM or something) to make sure the whole thing is coated. Bake at 425ºF for about 45 minutes. Serve with remoulade.
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