So guess what. At home, our internet is busted.
I literally can't think of anything worse that could have happened.
Okay, maybe there are a couple worse things. Like if you got tied to the bottom of an iceberg or if tarantulas took over the world. That would be worse. But other than that NOTHING could be worse.
I mean, I haven't been able to waste my life on Pinterest. Look up hilarious/adorable videos of Sophia Grace Brownlee. I can't stare at food all day on Foodgawker. And in order to write you a post, I have to come to a coffee shop with wi-fi where I have to buy coffee that is like five bajillion dollars for like one drop of coffee. WHAT IS LEFT FOR ME IN LIFE??
Oh well. I've always wanted to know what life was like in the olden days. Now I guess I know. BORING.
Well anyways, at least I made you some food. I baked up some little shortbread cookie crusts and stuffed them with custard.
Then I smothered that in a little bit of blueberry compote.
And voila! I have once again squashed all of my dreams of losing twenty pounds and becoming a supermodel.
Oh well. Supermodels are stupid anyways. Plus they have to pluck their eyebrows really good which is like torture. I mean, seriously, why don't rugged eyebrows just come into style?
Just make these. They're good.
Blueberry Custard Tartlets
1 cup milk
1/4 cup sugar
1 whole egg
2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons corn starch
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 sticks butter
1/4 cup sugar
2 cups plus 2 tablespoons flour
1 1/2 cups blueberries
1/4 cup sugar
3 tablespoons corn starch
3/4 cup water
2 tablespoons lemon juice
First bring the milk for the custard to a simmer. Meanwhile, whisk together the sugar, eggs, yolks, and corn starch together until smooth. When the milk is simmering, whisk half of it into the egg mixture. Then add the egg/milk mixture to the rest of the milk (Don't just dump the egg mixture into the simmering milk or you'll have scrambled eggs). Bring it back to the heat and cook, whisking constantly until very thick. Whisk in the butter and vanilla. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate. You'll want the plastic wrap to be touching the top or else you'll get a film on top of your custard.
To make the shortbread, cream together the butter and sugar and then add the flour, mixing just until combined. Press into mini muffin tins. You'll want it to be pretty thin. I made some of mine too thick and I couldn't fit as much filling in them. Then poke the bottom of each one with a fork so prevent air bubbles (I wasn't wise enough to think of doing this until I was already done). Bake them for about ten minutes at 350º or until golden brown on the edges.
For the blueberries, just whisk all of the ingredients together and cook over medium-high heat until thickened.
To assemble, fill cooled crusts with custard and top with cooled berries.